I'm writing another diary entry, but my Thanksgiving one is yet to be up. I really haven't yet the time or motivation to get down to it.

How are things now? Things haven't changed much. The job stint at Suntec is over. The thing at TP is shaping up, and my Dad has graciously provided some tips which I think are invaluable. It's amazing, how much my dad really knows about things. I am really grateful for his advice in so many matters, and let it never be said that he never was a good father. Those of you who knew that I always blamed my dad for things, no more. My dad never has owed me anything, and never again will I think that way.

How do I start? Hmmm. Is an unkept promise a lie? I think so. It becomes as much of a lie when you actually believe that person who made that promise, and when you found out that that person never did keep that promise, you can't help but feel cheated. Everytime a promise goes unkept, trust gets eroded, diminished. Faith in that person weakens just that tiny bit. Trust is a valuable commodity in relationships with your family, friends, business partners, romantic interests and even the unknown stranger. Trust is hard to build up, hard to earn. Hard to create, hard to gain. But it is oh so easy to lose it. All it takes is a mistake, and with that mistake, that trust may never ever be regained. Oh, it might, but it would take lifetimes, which no one on earth has.

But sometimes, I guess there is also foolish trust. You know how you see some serials, and its about this gullible, naive girl who trusts easily, often blinded, and ends up being cheated? I think that's a kind of foolish trust. Have you ever believed someone, knowing full well that it is a lie, yet you chose to believe because you want to? Like you know, that rationally, logically, it is a blatant lie, yet you foolishly choose to believe. There can be many reasons for that. You may be willing to give second chances, and you just don't trust your own instincts too much; you really want to be proven wrong. Or you want to trust because trusting gives you hope and faith in things. Or you trust because the person who is lying still means alot to you, and the only right thing to do is to trust.

When is it that finally, all the trust and faith that you have in something, or someone, is gone completely? When you just decide that that is all the lies that you will take, that you will finally walk away and move on. That you maybe, just maybe, would decide to smarten up and not to believe the lies anymore. When you finally decide to stop lying to yourself and actually accept the lie for what it is: a lie.

Trust is a really fragile thing: one step and everything could be lost.

In an ideal world, everyone tells the truth. Of course, we are far from ideal. In fact, we are somewhere precariously near the opposite end of the spectrum. I wish I could say that I do not lie, but that would be lying. While I try to avoid lying at all costs, and especially to those that I care about and avoid hurting them, it is just never easy to not lie. We are after all only human. I really want to not lie as much as possible, and I hope that maybe this could be one of my virtues. Maybe my only virtue, but at least I have one.

Lies are what matures a person. Yes yes, kids can lie without being taught to. But not one single kid is prepared for the multitude of lies that lurk in this world. Each time we are lied to, we get burnt. Or an electric shock if you prefer. And we learn. We associate that unpleasant sensation called being cheated, and we wisen up. Some people have really slow learning paces; they get shocked and burnt many times before they learn. Some people are smart, observant, and perhaps paranoid: they see others getting burnt and they learn to. It is being exposed to these lies that we really learn.

So all in all, lies are really bad. For those of you who perpetually lie, please try not to lie. Or those who make empty promises. Be hard on yourself: keep reminding yourself that you should try to become a man or woman of your word. Give your word, and try your best to do it. Tell the truth even if it gets you in trouble. Half-truths are half-lies, don't make it sound good. White lies are like white lice: too much of those and they become a problem. Misleading someone, or implying the untruth, are both lies: the law calls it fraud and deceit. All in all, live your life trying always to tell the truth, and making good on your promises.

What else can I talk about? I don't know, but I just can't help but feel that this is the point of time which things don't go well for me anymore. Like somehow, I'm not doing the right things, and my confidence in myself just gets diminished just that tiny bit. Maybe things will get better, maybe they wouldn't. Who knows?