I'll probably start to blog about my birthday this year, which was actually quite an amazing event.

Enter Yucui, who took the liberty of secretly booking her flight to Perth one day earlier just so that she could surprise me as the clock struck 12. Well, at least that is the plan, because I kinda suspected something and she had to bring forward her surprise.

It was heartstopping to say the least. I kept saying that I would have had an heart attack if I was 10 years older, and I seriously suspect that I would. It was really quite an amazing thing to happen. I don't think I've ever been so caught by surprise and so dumbfounded in my life. It was like someone pulled off a masterstroke prank on me, and succeeded wildly.

Anyway, that was how my birthday went, mostly. It was in the midsts of my midsems, so there was little celebration. I did get a kickarse surprise, and kickarse presents, especially this giant collage of pictures, which, honestly, rocked to the core.

So, as with every year, it's time for me to evaluate my life so far, and to look at what has become of me in the past 52 weeks. This is my fourth such entry, which means that my blog is at least 4 years old, and perhaps older. Wow! Anyway, the past year. I've got to say that, hmm, its been ups and downs. The lowest point in my life was last year, and I don't think I ever got to a point where things were shittier than they were. People who saw whatever happen know that I was in pretty deep shit, but yeah, I think I bore the burden better than I would have in the past.

And as I type this, yes, the bitter aftertaste comes back again. Bwah! I've learnt that certain things take a long time to go away, perhaps never, and that it is easy to forgive, but much harder to forget. I've also learnt that, just like Hitler, people remember only the bad things, but rarely the good ones, that memories can be tainted by a single instance of nastiness. I've also learnt that people are, ultimately, unpredictable. You can't trust them to always act like they would; somehow, somewhere, the chaos theory kicks in and randomness rules the roost.

I've also learnt the meaning of trust: what it means to trust someone. I would say that I've trusted an individual more than I ever did in my life last year. Trust is important and crucial, but it leaves you open to betrayal. And the bitter aftertaste of betrayal isn't that easy to remove. Betrayal hurts, deeply, and the damage could be everlasting. But the important lesson to learn is for you to bounce back and not be afraid to trust after a betrayal. You need to pick yourself up and learn to move on and trust again so that you can start to heal.

I've learnt about responsibilities. Certain responsibilities are expected; they are the ones that you prepare to bear. Others are even anticipated. But as with becoming an adult, you'll find that there are unpleasant responsibilities to be borne as well. Unfortunately incidents happen, and I was punished for my youthful ignorance and presumption of invulnerability. It's perhaps the biggest piece of trouble to have ever happened to me. But ya know, to be sued at 23 years of age is actually quite an achievement. You really have to wonder how I managed to screw things up so badly for that to happen.

Aside from all that, lessons learnt. I've once again certified that diligence and results are intricably linked. How much amount of effort you put in equates to how much you reap. It is really an important trait to acquire; it could potentially mean a huge difference in how your life would actually turn out to be. Thrift is something that I've always claimed eluded me, but I'm starting to apprecate it's effectiveness. Did you know how much better off you could be if you just abstained from spending money on unnecessaries? I'm not talking about food. I mean, its fine to be eating out often, but there are alot of additional expenses here and there. It could be your normal habits; the way you use the internet when it isn't unlimited access. The way you snack, perhaps. Saving alittle here and there could result in substantial surpluses where you can choose to channel anywhere you like.

Which brings me to my next point. The time value of money. Or something to it. I don't know whether if it is good or bad, but I have started to attach price tags to everything. It could be an activity, or a material good, or just something. Everything has a price tag, in terms of either time or money. And time and money are both related so closely you couldn't tell them apart at times. Activities take up time, purchases need money. Time is the enabler, it allows you to improve on your studies, relationships, friendships and financial wellbeing as well.

Its like, I can't explain it in words, so I'll take an example. DoTA, for example. DoTA is just about the most unproductive thing that's going on, and I can see what I am forgoing when I choose to start a game of DoTA. I could be potentially taking the time to perhaps sell a few more cards, or finish up a tutorial, or have an early night. I could possibly hang out with my friends, although I must say that DoTA does help my relationship with my friends, or I could take the time to spend with Yucui. So in everything you do, you have to consider the opportunity cost.

Now, money. They often say that maturity is knowing when to hold back your desires in order to satisfy them better in a later date. Like, when I decide on a potential purchase, I would often consider what am I foregoing. Bwah, its like my rate of return. And I realized that because of eBay, I do have a high rate of return. Of course you cannot quantify everything in monetary terms, but supposing you are considering a purchase of an iPod for $300. Now, that iPod may have a retail of $300, but in reality it may cost more, to me at least. I can't stop but think about what if I took that $300, ploughed it back into eBay for two months, and I know that I'll end up with more. So its not just pure and simple figures anymore, there's a cost to every single dollar I spend, and I usually consider it.

Of course, I don't consider the purchase of a $2 Snickers bar. It isn't worth the effort.

One more thing. How committed am I to a certain cause? I'll like to think that I'm not the kind who would give up halfway into a new endeavour. Maybe I'm not. I don't know. I have examples whereby I've successfully given my best in pursuing something that I've committed to. At the same time, I've also given up midway into other stuff which I usually attribute to an unrealistic or unattainable goal. Maybe I need more time to realize this. It may be that its a case of sour grapes, that I simply give up and call the goal unachievable, instead of it really being so. I'm not entirely sure. Or maybe I changed my mind and decided that it isn't worth the time and effort. Maybe I'll have a more definitive answer next year.

And lastly, I don't need people to like me. I'll much rather people respect me than really like me. They may dislike me as a person, and that's fine, so long as they don't despise me, and leave me alone to do what I want to do as long as it does not affect them either.

So this concludes my birthday entry for the year 2007. It's always fun to look back and evaluate and critize yourself. Humans are inherently critical creatures. The important thing is that when you look back and criticize yourself, you should not do so as if you are separate from that person. This just makes it not as effective. Realizing and acknowledging that that person who you are so critical of is actually yourself. That way, you could actually realize which aspects offends yourself the most.

Having said that, it really is like looking at yourself in the third person perspective. Like looking at your past self bumbling around and trying to find his way around to where you are today. Hindsight is indeed 20/20; why not use it to your advantage?