Yes yes, Thanksgiving entry. But I realize that my blog has been so inactive. But I've been really busy.

At any rate, I wanna blog abit about that special someone who has been with me this 1 year (nearly). We are heading off to Bintan this Saturday for a nice getaway, and I need it more than ever. Well, I need the short break, but I need the time to continue doing my stuff too. I seriously hope I can become some kind of a workaholic.

In the couple of months since I've been back, I've been practically inseperable with her. She's such an integral part of my life, and everything that I do or plan to do, I think about her first. Yes, I know she does not like it, but isn't this how things are supposed to be? When someone is the centre of your life, you are supposed to put her first, right?

I sometimes feel that I can never give her enough to balance the scales. Like I cannot do enough to make up for the fact that she is such a wonderful person and that she's always there for me. Like I can always do just abit more to make her happier. And it's not a stressful thing, rather, whenever I come up with something to do for her, it's exciting and fun.

I also feel like a blushing bride or a pimply teenager. Like I'm so in love with her, to the point whereby I have to constantly get a reality check. I remind myself that I'm not a 16 year-old kid with raging hormones with a propensity to infatuate. And then the other thing, whereby I'm so obsessed with getting enough money so that I can one day finally propose to her, sweep her off her feet and make her my wife. It's cheesy, and it's so un-masculine to be constantly thinking about marriage.

But faced with these two scenarios, I still go on the same way. I know I'm behaving like a lovestruck teen, as well as an eager to settle down lady who's bioclock is ticking away. But that doesn't stop me. Then I realize that when you know that you are behaving silly and yet you continue with it, that's love. When you know that you want to constantly strive to surprise someone, that's love. When you know that you are all set and done, you've found the one, and everything you do is to try and create a better life for just the both of you, that's love.

I've never been so right about anything in my life. Like this feeling that what I'm going for is the absolute right thing to do. There isn't even a hint of doubt in it. Like how you decide about things and there are always pros and cons to weigh? Nope, not this. No uncertainty at all, no feeling that you might be wrong. You know you are right. You just know. If I'm wrong about this, I'm probably wrong about everything else I've ever decided on. So I damn well better be right about this.

The cheesiest things that you can't bear to say, because its so cliche and only TV actors say it, you suddenly find yourself wanting to say them. Screw original, screw holding back, you want to be as mushy as possible and you don't even bat an eyelid at just being plain out saying how much you need that someone. You don't mind saying out loud that you love her in public and having people stare at you. In fact, while they stare, you know that they are staring with envy, not disgust or amusement.

All these signs, they come up so subtly, and only to you. If you see all these signs, you know you are on to something.

And I love you, Pek Yu Cui.