I want this song but I just can't find it. It's from one of those small bands who are more into just making music rather than being commercialized, and I heard it during the final episode of this quite funny internet serials called We Need Girlfriends.

Random thought: does your pee smell of coffee when you've had a cuppa? Whenever I pee, I turn the urinal into a Starbucks branch when I've had a cup of coffee a couple of hours before.

Gonna be blogging alot more these few of days. Happens always when things get rough and tough and I get all moody and brooding.

Rationally, it should be given up upon. I can't think of any financial reason to keep it going. In the past, yes, there were possibilities. But it seems like the probabilities of these possibilities materializing were alot less now. I just want to let it go, but somehow, there is this attachment to it still. Like, yeah, I'm still quite not ready to throw in the towel.

But almost though.

It'll be so like, one less thing to do. Kinda like a gap, and with nothing to fill in. Yeah, I know I complain whenever I have to go down there to do something and it's a drag because I'm tired after work and I don't wanna deal with it. But I guess when the time comes to say goodbye, I can't quite do it yet.

But I don't have a reason to not say goodbye. Only reason is that it might get better, and this has been what I've been thinking on. I guess everyone else is more or less like yeah, its a gone-case. Maybe I should do the same and go along with it.

Am I really going to be just a paid employee, leaving on a comfortable but monotonous salary for the rest of my life?

I wonder. And it's so easy, just so easy, to just work a normal, fulltime job like everyone else. Buy a house, a couple of houses if you are so inclined, play the stock market, and end your life with kids graduated from university and with grandkids on the way.

But to me, this is not success. This is merely not failing.

Is it better to not fail, or is it better to strive for success? At your deathbed, which would you rather have been.