I am feeling down in the dumps; it seems that I can't ever make a step forward. I'm still stuck, still the same, while everyone else moves ahead, I'm still at the same spot.

It is entirely sickening. Everyone seems to be getting it better than me, while I'm always shafted, always not getting it although I try my darnest man. Really, it feels that way. Fuck that.

I was reading the Wikipedia entry on Pursuit of Happyness a while ago when I fell in love with the movie, and remembered one of the reviews which was so eloquently put that it triggered something in me to go back there and look it up again.

"..this success story follows the pattern most common in life - it chronicles a series of soul-sickening failures and defeats, missed opportunities, sure things that didn't quite happen, all of which are accompanied by a concomitant accretion of barely perceptible victories that gradually amount to something. In other words, it all feels real."

I hope against hope that this movie critic's comment holds water beyond that of the silver screen.

I know I'm always discontented and greedy, always wanting more and asking for more and seeking more and impatient in getting more. Perhaps I've been doing it wrong? When you are actively seeking something, it never comes to you; but when you decide to stop looking, there it is.

But I cannot give up asking, hoping, seeking, expecting, demanding and requesting for more. Because I really don't have much now.